Coffee IMs
by Ianto'sCoffeeMinion
Summary: Ianto is making coffee and Owen gets impatient. Jack dares Ianto to flirt with Owen a bit but it dosent go down well. Ianto/Owen friedship more than aything, JANTO near to the end If your intrested Owen's screen name is Dr.Sexy


is online.

**CoffeeKingJones **is online.

** : **Ianto!

**CoffeeKingJones: **What?

** : **Well that wasn't polite was it?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Sorry Owen, I'm a little stressed is all.

** : **What is the Captain keeping you on your toes?

**CoffeeKingJones: **I'd be careful if I were you, he monitors these conversations.

** : **Really? Shit!...How do you know?

**CoffeeKingJones: **You know me Owen, I know everything!

** : **Oh yeah, I forgot…sew me

**CoffeeKingJones: **Too much paperwork involved, I do enough in this place ;)

** : **Did you just wink at me?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yes, I believe I did. Is that a problem?

** : **No, it's just weird is all…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Righhhhht. Ok. Well what was it you wanted?

** : **Who says I wanted something?

**CoffeeKingJones: **You never talk to me on here, and if it is it'll be a snide remark or to annoy me.

** : **I'm offended.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Be a man and admit it!

** : **I am more of a man than you'll ever be! MOWHAHA!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Okaaay. Ease up on the exclamation marks there.

** : **Sorry, just cranky cos I don't have any COFFEE!

**CoffeeKingJones: **The correct term would be - 'Cos' and I'm working as fast as I can, if you don't let the coffee marinate for a while it tastes like crap.

** : **Marinate! What are you cooking fish!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Would you prefer the term 'infuse'?

** : **I don't care what ponsey term you use just get me my coffee!

**CoffeeKingJones: **A please wouldn't go a miss…

** : **I don't do please's, I'm Owen remember?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh yeah, sorry, when thought of Dr. Sexy I was thinking of someone that was actually sexy…

** : **Ohh, below the belt, that hurt!

**CoffeeKingJones: **That's what I like ;)

** : **Ewwww you kinky bastard! Get me my coffee!

**CoffeeKingJones: **It isn't your coffee, its my coffee, I make it so therefore its mine!

** : **Oh gawd! Is it this hard just to get you to bring me over a cup of bloody coffee!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Poor word choice my friend…

** : **Someone's been spending too much time in the company of Captain Twat.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Did I mention he has the word 'Captain' on a filter?

** : **Shit.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Shit indeed. Now what were you saying?

** : **I was saying that the Captain is not a twat, just a little high and mighty sometimes.

**CoffeeKingJones: **AHAHAHA! You totally fell for it!

** : **I hate you.

**CoffeeKingJones: **I love you too darling 3

** : **Don't go all gay on me!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Who says I'm gay?

** : **Well the constant disappearances, coincidently at the same time as Jack is a big giveaway.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Ohh big words, for a small brain.

** : **Oi! I can be intelligent!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yeah when you put your glasses and lab coat on, but looking intelligent doesn't necessarily mean you are intelligent.

** : **Whatever gay-boy.

**CoffeeKingJones: **I told you. I'm not gay! I'm bi!

** : **Best of both worlds! Nice. Although a little greedy.

**CoffeeKingJones: **What can I say, is just sex, sex, sex, with us people.

** : **So now your quoting Captain what's-his-face?

**CoffeeKingJones: **You mean heart? And yes, it makes Jack jealous ;)

** : **Oh, so its Jack now, is it?

**CoffeeKingJones: **It's only Sir when were alone ;)

** : **Your kinky son of a bitch!

**CoffeeKingJones: **I prefer, experimental.

** : **Whatever you call it, Jack's done a number on you hasn't he. First you were straight, then you met Captain Shag-a-lot and now you're taking it up the ass!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Typical bloke.

** : **Why thank you!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Your coffee will be ready soon.

** : **Good!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh, it's not good, its amazing!

** : **Hold on. What are you on about?

**CoffeeKingJones: **The coffee silly!

** : **Oh…

**CoffeeKingJones: **What did you think I was on about?

** : **It doesn't matter.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh, you thought I was talking about the 'dabbling'

** : **So is that what you're calling it?

**CoffeeKingJones: **I hate the word 'shag'

** : **I gathered.

**CoffeeKingJones: **A bit of advice…don't sleep with the Captain.

** : **As if it would! I'm as straight as they come! I'd end up killing him, not shagging him!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yeah, well. As soon as you do EVERYONE is asking you what he's like.

** : **What in bed?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yes! In bed! What did you think I meant!

** : **Ok. Sor-rey! corrr

**CoffeeKingJones: **Apology for you ignorance is accepted this once.

** : **So what's he like then?

**CoffeeKingJones: **I'm not telling you!

** : **I aint bovered. Didn't wanna know anyway. Just thought it'll be a good wind-up! Did it work?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yes Owen. It worked.

** : **Soooooo wheres mi coffee then Tea-Boy?

**CoffeeKingJones: **I find it funny how you call me that when I've never served tea, I always make coffee, so surely it should be Coffee-Boy?

** : **Don't sound right.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Mmm, I guess.

** : **OMG! Is the world ending?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Why?

** : **Cos you've agreed with me! You never agree with me!

**CoffeeKingJones: **What can I say, you have that effect on people ;)

** : **Are you flirting with me?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yes, but it was Jack's idea, so take it up with him!

** : **I'm not taking anything 'up' with him. What do you take me for?

**CoffeeKingJones: **I wouldn't 'take you' if the world was ending.

** : **Thanks.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Maybe I would, but don't tell Jack ;)

** : **Ewwww! Keep those thoughts to yourself will ya!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Only joking! That would be awkward….

** : **Yes it would.

**CoffeeKingJones: **Right, your coffee's on its way over to you, no grabbing the arse though, that's reserved ;)

** : **As if it would!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Sorry force of habit, ahahahah!

** : **I thought Jack bragged…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh, I'm not bragging, just giving you the ground rules :)

** : **And what would I need them for?

**CoffeeKingJones: **You know, encase the world ended ;)

** : **You're a sick man Jones!

**CoffeeKingJones: **I prefer to think of myself as feisty. ;)

** : **Bloody 'ell he has turned you aint he!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Don't spend too long in his company, he might jump on you...

** : **You say that like hes a savaged beast or something!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh he can be when he wants ;)

** : **Right, I'm going before I get even more mentally scared than I already am!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Ahaha! I don't usually have that effect on people but ok ;)

** : **Gawd your worse than him!

**CoffeeKingJones: **I try my best ;)

is offline.

**TheCaptain **is online.

**CoffeeKingJones: **How'd I do?

**TheCaptain: **Amazing!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Why, thank you sir.

**TheCaptain: **Don't sweat it…unless you're engaged in Mind-blowing sex with me that is!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Always with the innuendo.

**TheCaptain: **Oh I think you'll find that was not hinting…I'm anything but subtle, you should know that!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh, I do, believe me!

**TheCaptain: **Good boy ;)

**CoffeeKingJones: **What am I? A dog now?

**TheCaptain: **NOOOOO your too cute to be a dog! I was thinking more of a sexy cat!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Riiiight! Someone hasn't had their coffee.

**TheCaptain: **You should know, you have the bruises to prove it ;)

**CoffeeKingJones: **How many times do I have to tell you! DON'T PINCH MY ARSE! I bruise easily!

**TheCaptain: **I like leaving marks on you, it's like I've claimed you… ;)

**CoffeeKingJones: **Oh so I'm baggage now? Thanks…

**TheCaptain: **No! That's not what said! What's up with you anyway?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Well someone made me make a complete fool out of myself in front of a fellow team mate!

**TheCaptain: **Was this person astoundingly handsome?

**CoffeeKingJones: **No, he looked like he had a fight with orange paint.

**TheCaptain: **Can't have been me then…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Of course it was bloody you! Making me do that! You better make it up to me!

**TheCaptain: **I like it when you get all demanding ;)

**CoffeeKingJones: **Well get used to it because I'm never letting this go!

**TheCaptain: **No even if I do my paperwork, properly?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Maybe I could come to some sort of arrangement.

**TheCaptain: **That-a-boy!

**CoffeeKingJones: **What is it with you praising me?

**TheCaptain: **Oh I can do more than that if you come up to my office, right about now ;)

**CoffeeKingJones: **Do you promise no pinching?

**TheCaptain: **I can't help it! My hands have a mind of their own!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Sure they do…

**TheCaptain: **Is it a crime not to keep my hands off of you?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Maybe not ;)

**TheCaptain: **So are you coming then?

**CoffeeKingJones: **Yes Jack. I'm on my way now. Give me a second would ya!

**TheCaptain: **Whoops, I think I just slipped my braces off…

**CoffeeKingJones: **Heeeeeey! You know I like doing that!

**TheCaptain: **I know, but you also like pinging them back at me and that hurts!

**CoffeeKingJones: **What can I say, its irresistible!

**TheCaptain: **Just like you!

**CoffeeKingJones: **Stop it! Your making me blush and Tosh is sitting opposite!

**TheCaptain: **Would it help you if I said I was naked?

**CoffeeKingJones: **JACCCCCK! Right that's it! I'm coming up to teach you a lesson!

**TheCaptain:** Can hardly wait ;)

**CoffeeKingJones **is offline.

**TheCaptain **is offline.


End file.
